Walk Together Fiercely

Embracing Imperfection and the Magic of Letting Go in a Perfectionist World

• Michelle Morrison and Dr. Tara Drummond ND • Season 4 • Episode 128

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Do you strive for perfection?  Do you ever have unrealistic expectations for yourself, yet compassion for others?  In this episode, we are speaking about those high expectations we set for ourselves and the magic that happens when we untie the knots of perfectionism and let that cape flutter away. This episode of Walk Together Fiercely is a heartfelt voyage through the perils of the perfectionism trap, set against the backdrop of the transforming April 8th eclipse. We share our personal anecdotes and laugh at the absurdity of holding ourselves to impossible standards, especially poignant in an era where everyone's domestic life is under a microscope.

Have you ever felt like your daily contributions are swallowed by the black hole  invisibility?  In a candid and authentic confession, we speak about the feelings of holding so much responsibility and the simplicity it takes to shift our perceptions.  As we laugh over the skewed lens of domestic partnership dynamics, we invite you to join us in finding serenity amidst life’s perfectly imperfect state and embracing the beauty of a lived-in home.

There's magic in your imperfections, and we're here to spotlight that luminescence. This episode isn't just about sharing our struggles with the need to be flawless; it's about the power and self-confidence that come from dancing with our flaws. As we encourage you to step into your light and share your gifts unapologetically, we hope to inspire you to manifest your inner glory and shine as a beacon for others. So, connect with us on Instagram for an interactive journey, and let's walk together fiercely — because when we illuminate our imperfections, we guide and support each other as we walk this journey together!

We would love for you to join us in our community! Find us on Instagram at: @walktogetherfiercely
Here you can be a part of the conversation! We love when you message us, when you tag us in your posts and stories, thank you so much for sharing!

For more information about Dr. Tara, you can find her on Instagram at: @drtaradrummond

For more information about Michelle, you can find her on her website: www.thebalancedsoul.com
Instagram: @michellemorrisonmedium
Facebook: @Michelle Morrison Psychic Medium

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Walk Together Fiercely. We are just so glad to have you here. We invite and we also thank you for being a part of our community. Thank you for choosing to spend some of your precious time with us. We know how valuable it is. I am Michelle Morrison. I am a medium and an intuitive and I support people to make beautiful spiritual connections with loved ones on the other side, with angels and spirit guides, and I love helping people tune into their own amazing intuition spirit guides. And I love helping people tune into their own amazing intuition.

Speaker 2:

I am Dr Tara Drummond and I'm a naturopathic doctor and I'm passionate about empowering people in all aspects of health and well-being. Our intention is to create community and connection. We do that with open hearts, minds and a whole lot of love and laughter. The more we know ourselves, the deeper connection we can have within, which allows us to deepen connections around us.

Speaker 1:

We feel so passionately about this, you matter, that you are so important and that you belong, and we are creating and connecting to the hearts and wisdom of our bodies, mind and spirits, nurturing and growing compassion, empathy and community. We know that we are so much better together, and so let's walk together fiercely through this beautiful, sometimes really challenging life as light warriors of love. Together, with open minds and hearts, we can create a community where we celebrate, play and thrive.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for being here.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back. Good morning, I'm happy to be here. We have just been watching the. We are not in the line of totality. It is April the 8th, this recording day, so we are recording on eclipse day. We've just been watching it through the lens of others who are in the path of totality and it's so beautiful yes, the eclipse it's, so it's yeah there's been a lot of build-up and hype to this one, so, yeah, there feels divine that we're together a lot of.

Speaker 1:

There's been a lot of tinfoil hat conspiracy theories going around that I just have put no merit into whatsoever and, uh, I just lent into the beauty of, uh, a beautiful celestial event and the fact that we can witness such things and how miraculous the world in the universe is.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it's very cool, yeah, and then I've sent my children to school where they are keeping them inside with the blinds closed, so I was warning the kids. It might be a funny day at school. Use your breath to calm your body if the classroom gets goofy.

Speaker 1:

I hope they do stuff like with them about it.

Speaker 2:

But at any rate. We can't control that that's not what today we're talking about today, but we've already been. We've already had a therapy session this morning, just we haven't seen each other in a while, like if we go longer than a week, we have some catching up to do. Yeah, a little bit to catch up to do for sure.

Speaker 1:

So there's that. But today we're talking about perfectionism, and boy, is this something that a walk we can talk, hey.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was saying before we hit record. It's making me a bit dry mouth and nervous-y because this one feels so close it's so close to home?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so close to home. And you know, what's really interesting is that we are both the oldest of three girls in our family. So we come with that life experience of being, you know, the guinea pig child, I guess the one who looks after the little ones I don't know if that was always your case, it certainly was mine, Absolutely yeah and the feel of those big expectations, whether you know.

Speaker 2:

I mean, that's just my experience anyway, and there's been a lot of big expectations and for so many reasons, I still hold them Tara expectations, and for so many reasons I still hold them Tara same and I think because I can see it from like a mother's lens, now that I have two children and I have that empathy for my big kid that as soon as a second comes along, you're expecting them to do more, to know more or to you know pitch in be more appropriate or be responsible.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we put a little bit more onto them, so yeah mindful of that and also compassionate to what we held and still hold. And yeah, undoing, we say we're recovering perfectionists.

Speaker 1:

So I'm no longer a perfectionist, I'm a beautiful hot mess so I think I still can be at times, or like I'll catch myself in it, tara yeah, it creeps in for sure.

Speaker 2:

And a huge one is this podcast and like even looking from where we've come from and where we are now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like when we started Michelle. I would listen.

Speaker 2:

How ridiculous is it Like when you go back and listen.

Speaker 1:

Probably I can't go back and listen, that would bring out Judgy McJudgerson. That's very hard to go back and listen.

Speaker 2:

But even at the start, I would listen to each episode two times and the first time I'd listen. I had such a harsh judge and critic in my mind, nitpicking my voice or what I said, or that it could have been better, whatever. And then I'd listen a second time and I'm like Tara, other people are not hearing you with the same judgmental voice that you're hearing yourself.

Speaker 2:

So I'd have a second softer listen before we would launch it. So I'd have a second softer listen before we would launch it. Nice. So I think that it's important to highlight that, because now you don't bother. Well, now I just avoid listening. I trust that we come together and what we create has value, and you can see how perfectionism could stop people from ever starting.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, if I focus too much on it, I would absolutely stop stop. So I listened to the episode that was released this morning and it's the episode where you ask questions. I channeled my beings of light and brought forward the answers and I'm listening. I'm like, oh my god, like you know, like I can feel like it took me. I can feel like it took me. I can feel how it took me a bit to kind of get into a nicer like into a flow where I was probably, maybe honestly, a little bit more relaxed because I was so nervous. And so I am picking apart all of the things and you're like I didn't get that, like I didn't pick up on that, and I'm like, oh, I so did.

Speaker 1:

I thought it was so awesome, yeah, and so we're so hard on ourselves is the point right and you know we were sharing. If it's okay to share this, we were sharing earlier today.

Speaker 1:

You know just some things that are happening in life and some you know things that might be health wise or whatever. And you're like I'm feeling this. And I'm like I'm feeling this and I could be so objective towards you and say, oh my gosh, but look at all the things you've been doing and you've been so busy and you've been going like you know, a hundred miles an hour and you've been, you know, accomplishing all of this and look how much work you're doing with your dog and your kids, like all the things. And then, and you're like, exactly the same for you, michelle, and I'm like, right, right, compassion for yourself.

Speaker 1:

But why is it so much easier for me to you share what is going on for you? And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, yeah, it makes sense for these reasons, or this is what I understand about that and this is how I would feel about that, and this is how I see you, and you're like not having it and I'm like, oh, but it's so glaringly apparent. And then you just turn the mirror to me and I'm like, oh, right, fuck, you're right, we are so good at doing it to ourselves why I love relationship and friendships and us and getting to bounce stuff off, because we do get to be a mirror for each other.

Speaker 2:

When you get swallowed up by these voices or this dialogue, that's telling you you're imperfect, you're imperfect. And then a friend goes. Oh, but you're so beautifully imperfect Like we can just see the magic of one, another, another. So I think that the heart of this episode is really bringing that slathering of compassion and empathy for ourselves and letting go of so much fear and this striving to be perfect, because what's the fucking point? Like it just stops joy. It stops you from.

Speaker 2:

It can stop you from actually creating and doing things so um, I'm gonna acknowledge us here that I'm proud of us for doing this podcast and showing up as we are and, uh, we haven't let perfection stop us, so no, I mean, I think if we had let perfection stop us, tara, I think we would have quit after episode one.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it may not have even been released. I don't even know if we would have started.

Speaker 2:

I would have just let the fear win and said no.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, because it does take courage to keep showing up. And where do you think those perfection voices come from in the first place that says, like, no matter what you do, or how, like amazing it is that there's some part of you that feels like, oh, but then that wasn't quite right or I didn't quite, I should have made a different choice there. I should have, you know, said something differently there, or I didn't get enough done today. Where, where do you think it all comes from?

Speaker 1:

oh, it's probably programmed in so little, yeah, like it's all these like micro criticisms right of like they're not good enough, or are you gonna wear that, or is that how you're doing?

Speaker 2:

and then we kind of it just builds that ego as the ego develops in us, I'm sure is when this part of us develops, for me anyways yeah, although I remember a time that was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back, where I was just like fuck it, I'm not even gonna try then and I like probably grade nine and like.

Speaker 2:

I did well in school and I got good grades and I remember bringing home a report card and showing my dad and I was proud of myself and I was thinking this will make my parents proud. Obviously I'm looking for that external validation and I go and I show him and he looks at this straight A report card and he points and he goes what's with this S? So the letter S that we got on our grading system. You got graded alphabetically on your grade and then you got an effort grade, of course, so you could have a G, s or N like good, satisfactory or needs improvement, yes. And so this straight A report card points out what's with this S? And I remember my heart just sinking looking at him and snarking that you should be grateful that I can get straight A's with satisfactory effort. Yeah, and I walked away with my report card. Yeah, and I remember that moment. I'm like what's the point?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

What is the point of trying to make my parents proud and get these great grades and striving and I would like to say I figured it all out right then, but it took me many years because then I went to med school and realized that that's not going to do it either, right?

Speaker 2:

so it is an internal job of like feeling proud of ourselves for our good enoughs right even if it's not perfect that we've still done well, and this will creep in in my days like where you'll you'll get five loads of laundry done and you'll make the meals and you'll clean the kitchen.

Speaker 1:

You'll do all this and then you go at the end of the day like I didn't get to my floors, like I didn't wash my floors or I didn't totally or I'll see my fridge before I go to bed and I'm like it's just smeared with fingerprints, right, and I'm like, ah, yeah, like, yeah, yeah, it takes away from all the other things that you did in your head, because you have an image of how it should look or feel yes, yeah, and I'll bring in some of my sister's wisdom here, because she's reminded me of this over the years, but she said it's so like matter of factly to me once she goes tara, you see, you don't see the nine things you did right.

Speaker 2:

You see the one thing that you did imperfectly and that's what you fixate on and that's what you look. So this, this episode, is like for anybody that has a mind that's working, like this it's. You're not alone in it. And let's start acknowledging the nine things that we've done. And this is a practice I've done in my life where I, on a day where I'm feeling this, I write a little list of all the things I've accomplished.

Speaker 2:

One day, yeah, and I remember probably three years ago it would have still been in this pandemic time where you kind of feel like you're suffocating in your own home with staying in and young kids and just cleaning and doing chores and Reese came home. He would have been back to work, I guess.

Speaker 2:

Because he came home and he looks at this little post-it note and this was the second day I had kept notes of what I had done and the first day I would have tucked it away, but the second day he comes home and he pauses in the kitchen and I see, and then I'm like, oh, he's reading my note and he stands up and he goes you did all of this today and I just started crying, I was like yes and at the end of the day, I feel like I've accomplished nothing yeah so I'm like keeping notes because I'm like the house looks the same as when we started the day, but yet I've cleaned it three times or whatever yeah, um, so like an invitation to acknowledge, because that's that's something that's working for me is starting to highlight what I did well and what I did get done, and to find that compassion for and acknowledging myself, but yeah, in all the things's so funny.

Speaker 1:

Have you ever seen the joke online where the husband calls out the one thing that he did? I emptied the dishwasher right. And and I don't know if that's the same in your house, it certainly is true in mine, where if John does something, he does make an announcement about that, like he does. He absolutely lets it be known that he did something. So I started to text him every time I did a task and I did this for a few days. He got the point, let's just say that and so I would text him literally every single thing that I did cleaned all three bathrooms.

Speaker 1:

Did you know another load of laundry, folded laundry, put it away, organized a cupboard. You know, cleaned out the fridge. You know, saw three clients, um, you know, like whatever, like just the list on and on and on. And, um, you know, did two hours of um communication in my office, like just yelled it out. And it's like, when I even looked at it, I was like this is insane, like this is literally insane. And that's not including, like you know, exercising the dogs and you know, letting them out 17 times every day. Right, like yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes. And then somehow our ego can convince us that we have not done enough.

Speaker 1:

so that's right, that's right but I think you make a good point. I think sometimes, when you see it written down, you're kind of like oh, maybe I actually am working my ass off and that is why I'm so tired, or you know why I'm feeling it so much, or I'm feeling run down, or I'm feeling a little bit like I'm in need of TLC. I'm feeling run down, or I'm feeling a little bit like I'm in need of TLC because when you see it written down, you're like okay, so so you're not a slouch.

Speaker 1:

No, oh, that makes me laugh so hard because it was actually just last week that Reese did that.

Speaker 2:

He doesn't usually announce that he's done something, but right, he comes home from work and he goes. Did you see that I emptied the dishwasher before I went to work today? I gave him the like flattest expression face.

Speaker 1:

I know, like what are you supposed to say to that man?

Speaker 2:

I think you give them a golf clap like, yeah, golf clap, that's right, yay, you did the dishwasher.

Speaker 1:

I know. I actually took my calculator out because I I typically vacuum my house a minimum of three times a week. We have pets. It it's a must. You just don't get away with it any other way, otherwise your socks are just picking up hair all over the place. And so I calculated you know how many years we've lived here, if you calculate how many weeks in a year. And so I'm like I have vacuumed this house approximately this amount of times, and I'm going to tell you that it was closer to 5,000. And I'm like you know of you know the times in the week that the house needs vacuuming. Can you think about how many times you've done that?

Speaker 2:

and he does vacuum on occasion, but I'm going to say, in the amount of years we've been here, that that's going to be, you know, yeah, under 20 yeah, we can count it on our fingers and toes yeah, yeah yeah, and this is it's interesting too because as I have been moving through this space of like my role, where I'm more in the household now and this is my job and my role in the family, you can see how that resentment can kind of come brewing, like I'm doing all of this and da, da, da. And then I found the more that I actually acknowledge myself and feel proud of myself and what I've done in a day.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I, then it can soften that like feeling that I can have to him because I'm not so like burnt out, exhausted, and then feeling like, why aren't you coming and picking up this slack? And then seeing like, oh, I've created this, I'm gonna do my list of chores and then, if I don't get to things too, I'm also gonna have like a softness for myself yeah, that. I. We're in a phase of life where we have dogs, we have, kids we have, and the house is not gonna be perfect yeah so there's also this letting go of like, whatever it's a lived, a lived in house.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, and that's a big thing. Like when, when my older son wanted to start picking his own outfits, which was quite young, like he's a little bit of a stylish dude, Like he knows what he wants to wear. So he'd go and I'm going to pick my outfit. I'm going to go in my drawers. The amount of letting go, michelle. They were no longer folded nicely. They're ripped apart, shut, half closed, and I'm like we're just going to live with this as the new normal, like we're not going to have perfectly folded drawers. It's like a letting go of perfectionism again, like what it should look like or what it's expected to look like, and just this is what it, that acceptance of this is what it is for now.

Speaker 1:

All those expectations right.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's where we get caught up, right. I see this like in so many areas of my own life. I see it in even others, so like if I am, you know, helping someone to tap into their intuition, even something like that, they may have an expectation of what that should look and feel like, what it should come across like, and if it doesn't, they will say I can't do this, I'm doing it wrong, there's something wrong with me that I can't do this. None of those things are true. It's that we have our own way through it. I think that, like people will say, like I have a block to my intuition and, unfortunately, the answer to that is probably your perfectionism, probably the expectation that you have on yourself for what that should look like or feel like or be like.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's such a good example.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like, yeah, our expectations of it's going to show up like this, but the more we have this perfectionism or this idea of what it should be, you're closing yourself off to what it is. Yes, and that's even that push pull within me of like what I think that my house should look like or should function like, and then what it actually does. And if I can find that softness and acceptance to be in the present, then I can actually enjoy the hot mess that I'm sitting in, opposed to like kind of being in a fight with it like it can't be like this.

Speaker 2:

So then and then you take it personally like I'm not doing a good enough job, I'm not a mom, a wife like you start taking it on and taking that personally too, where, if I can have a bit more lightness and fun with it, I think I can enjoy my life more. Yeah, when we soften on those perfection and those expectations of ourself, right Well.

Speaker 1:

I think that you're so right, tara, because I really think that it does prevent us from being present in our lives, from enjoying, you know, the unfolding in each moment, for enjoying the simple pleasures of, you know, watching your son pick, you know, a shirt and shorts that don't necessarily match, but he's so proud of it and he loves it. He's wearing it, maybe because it makes him feel good or because it makes it was a color he felt like that day, right, or whatever. We miss all of that part of the fun, and I think that is a lot of life that we miss out on in that perfection.

Speaker 2:

Yes, totally. It's it's fighting what is yeah and thinking it should be some ideal. And yeah and life's just not gonna be like that and I actually I'm really inspired by I'm going to share a little bit because our friend, dr Deanna Weiss, who we've had on this podcast before, she gifted, after we recorded, she gifted us each a signed copy of Elizabeth Gilbert's book and it's so good, it is amazing.

Speaker 1:

I love this book.

Speaker 2:

I want to share a little bit. It's called Big.

Speaker 1:

Magic.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it's creative. Living beyond fear is what the book is about.

Speaker 2:

And it's so good about opening up to our creativity and our expression, and I just want to share this tiny bit about perfectionism that's in here. It's page 167, if anyone has the copy. The most evil trick about perfectionism, though, is that it disguises itself as virtue. In job interviews, for instance, people will sometimes advertise their perfectionism as if it's their greatest selling point. Sometimes advertise their perfectionism as if it's their greatest selling point, taking pride in the very thing that is holding them back from enjoying their fullest possible engagement with creative living. They wear their perfectionism like a badge of honor, as if it signals high taste and exquisite standards.

Speaker 2:

But I see it differently. I think perfectionism is just a high-end, hoity couture version of fear. I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant, when actually it's just terrified, because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more than a deep existential angst that says, again and again, I am not good enough and I will never be good enough. And I loved that because I thought how often does our perfectionism block us from having connection, block us from having intimacy? Right, and even what would it be Before our workshop? A couple months ago, you came to my home and usually I come to your home, so you were coming to my home.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I remember this. And I told you I power cleaned for an hour and a half before I know, which is crazy to me.

Speaker 2:

And it blocks that vulnerability of letting you just come in and see, like that, I'm not functioning at full capacity. The dog chewed shoes at my front door because she's not, she's imperfectly trained and right to let you see my mess. And I think the more we hold on to this perfectionism, we it's really blocking that like vulnerable, authentic connection with people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, it is yeah absolutely. And uh, I think that you know, like, I think that sometimes I don't know about you, tara, but I can be so crazy in my head about, you know, thinking what somebody might notice or be worried about, and it's the last thing they notice and it's the last thing they're thinking or worrying about, right, like no one comes in and takes their finger over your baseboards and goes, oh, I caught some dust particles, like that just doesn't happen.

Speaker 2:

But in our heads we're like, oh, I must you know oh, I must yeah, you know I must yeah, you're gonna notice that all these yes exactly yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I think that this is such an invitation to live more of an authentic messy life, because I think that's where the magic is, that's where we can be more creative and we can make mistakes and we can learn from them. Yeah, and I think for myself when I think of this desire to have it look a certain way, or that it should be a certain way, or that I should be a certain way. Yeah it's really just this internal fight that we're having yeah against what is, yeah, it is it's true, it's very true.

Speaker 1:

I, you know, I had an event this past weekend and I do an event called an evening or an afternoon with spirit and people come. I have no idea who is coming and I just do readings in the audience for the people who are there Just on the fly. I get very nervous before these events, incredibly so, like I really, really I'm like, oh my God, like I'll, even in my own head, for after all these years of doing it, I'll be like what if I don't know what to say? What if the messages don't come? Like what? Like I'll go through a period of fear and then I will sit and buckle down and, and you know, meditate and do the work. And, you know, do the things that I know get me into a state of flow? Do the things that I know get me into a state of flow?

Speaker 1:

But I look back on the event just this, because this is the one most recent and the magic that came out of that and the messages that were shared, and the magic that was shared with people who needed messages in the ways that they do, and I'm the first person to say I don't know everything about you in your life. That's actually kind of creepy. That's not the way it should work ever. And I don't know everything about you and your life. That's actually kind of creepy. That's not the way it should work ever. And I don't know your life like you know your life. These are some of the energies or the messages that are coming through when I tune into your particular energy. So do I get everything? Absolutely not. Am I right 100% of the time? Absolutely not. But if I let all of those things stop me, none of the magic that was shared would have been shared, and it was really freaking amazing. It was really really cool. And so I find for myself that I can do it in some parts of my life and I really struggle in others, and I really struggle in others.

Speaker 1:

And so, like I know that, I guess there's been a knowing inside of me at any rate, that it was always important to share what was coming through, because not everybody maybe understands or tunes into this or maybe is even interested, which is fine but that there is always a level of importance to share.

Speaker 1:

And even through my nervousness, I will still say yes. So that's what we're talking about in the, you know, podcasting together, in our nervousness, we still say yes and we still show up and we come to the mic and you know, we interview people and we talk about hard things or beautiful things, whatever's on the agenda, and we just do it. I think that, if you didn't, that there's so much magic lost. And so, even though every one of our episodes we would never say are perfect, that every one of my events has been perfect, that there's been such magic that has been shared because of that, and I think that we miss out on so much of that in life from a lot of people that maybe just don't share, whatever their brand of magic is, and it certainly doesn't have to be podcasting, it certainly doesn't have to be mediumship, but it can be, you know, whatever it is for you.

Speaker 1:

But I think fear holds us back from sharing. And what is the point of living, I think, is in the sharing. Yes, I think that's what brings it more to life and makes it so much more magical. Yeah, you know. So if I was channeling, you know, your grandmother, and I'm just sitting here channeling your grandmother and I'm having a conversation and I didn't share that with you, how fun would that be for you? Absolutely no fun. No, you want to hear from your grandmother.

Speaker 2:

Tell me what my grandma says.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you want to hear what she has to say, and so that's what we want, like that's the whole point of everything, right?

Speaker 2:

And so if you make something, like your child makes a Lego house, and then they come and show you and they're like and, look, this is where they go in the door and this is where they grow in their garden or whatever it is that they have created, when they share it, their excitement and their passion grows, and so you can see how this works from a very small age in terms of what we create is meant to be shared yeah, and this that feels like such a tender, beautiful message, like if you think of all of the magic and creativity and unexpressed things that people have held back because of being afraid of making mistakes or being imperfect, like how many people think, oh, maybe I want to start a garden, oh, I don't know how to and I wouldn't do it perfectly Like, so they never start and I'm like that's the perfect place to start.

Speaker 2:

It's such a forgiving canvas to just go and play or like somebody that wants to paint, but oh, I don't do that or sing or express any kind of expression Like how much is held back because we think we're not good enough or our version of it isn't. So I think this is such a great invitation for whoever's listening, whatever way they like to be creative and express like do more of that yeah and it reminds me of what mark groves says, and I don't think it's his quote.

Speaker 2:

I think he got it from somebody else. So sorry I'm not giving credit. Um, but just like almost how selfish or like naive are you to think that the gifts and the talents that you have were for you right? That's not the exact quote. I've completely butchered in a mega way, but it's the heart of that. It's like who do you think you are, that your gifts are for you right?

Speaker 2:

like they're meant for the world, they're meant for your community and to be expressed. So that's this invitation, and I'll tell you firsthand that I reached perfection once, and it was terrible. Oh, tell me that story, I'm going to tell you this because we did an episode that was released a couple weeks ago and it was talking about like kind of discerning between ego and intuition and I said to you well, my ego is what got me through bed school, like probably my early life and my 20s, and all that education, right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I remember you saying that. Yeah, and you were kind of surprised by it. Yeah, I was Like, oh really, yeah, yeah, I was, because we had been talking about like you know, how do you partner with the ego? You know, get up out of bed in the morning, blah, blah, blah, and you're like, well, it got me through med school and I'm like what?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you'll share. Like the ego is what gets you up in the day. Yes, and I'm like the ego got me through med school. It was there every morning with a stick just ready to beat me into my next note. Get to class, do this, get your work. And yeah, I entered naturopathic med school and I was, and we did. Uh, we started out with anatomy and physiology. So I study and I get a good grade. Like I think I got like a 95 or 98 on my first exam and I'm like, okay, great. And then the next exam comes and I'm like, okay, like there's still an area for striving, like I can still do better. So it's always chasing that perfect, that better that more 95.

Speaker 1:

You were like I want more oh, just there's, room. Yeah, there's there's room for improvement.

Speaker 2:

There's room for more perfection. Wow, and my next exam I got a hundred on. Yeah, and it riddled me with anxiety like I remember when you say you reach perfection. I got a perfect score back and I was like again my heart kind of sunk and it's like, oh shit, because now I have to maintain this or there's no ability to maintain this. Like from here all you can do is fuck it up like it's only downhill from here, and I just remember like the pressure that getting this perfect exam but I didn't feel like proud of it.

Speaker 2:

I felt like, well, now you've got to maintain that right gosh yeah, I think that's such a solid point. I think that people can feel, uh, the pressure to maintain yeah yeah, absolutely, whether it be an image or our like, whatever, whatever our standard that we have set for ourselves.

Speaker 1:

that was never realistic in the first place.

Speaker 2:

likely, yeah, or even a belief in our mind that we kind of get stuck to, and I think that naturopathic medical school for me was such a great place to break my ego, I guess, in a way way break my spirit down to a place where you can't be perfect all the time and maybe some days.

Speaker 2:

an 80 is your version of your best absolutely, and it's not your best that you can get like on a better day, where you were, you slept well and you're emotionally regulated and you've had good food. Maybe you'll do better that day, but it was this new standard that my best is going to wax and wane a little bit, pending on how my body and my mind are functioning. Yes, so it did start to give me that softness not fully. I feel like I'm still resting and relaxing more into imperfections yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think that it is a daily choice, right, tara, of saying, okay, this is like, I love that approach and I do do that that my best today is going to look a little bit different than my best on a different kind of a given day yeah uh, and that that has to be okay yeah, and it's for us to be okay with it too like it's not even for every oh.

Speaker 2:

Everybody else is going to be okay with me.

Speaker 1:

It's I don't think everybody else even cares. To be fully honest with you, I don't really think they're watching that closely. I think it's just us. It is us In there meddling around in places that just were never going to be productive or healthy ever. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because can we allow ourself to have these imperfect moments or be imperfect through and through? As we really are and can we do that without judgment, guilt and shame?

Speaker 1:

Yes, can we.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's the softening.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I've been like we can soften to being these perfectly imperfect beings, really like, yeah, it is our imperfections that give us so much unique beauty and I think, that it's so cool to me because I like almost fell in love with you first sight and it was in a presentation and you were just in your light, you were sharing, and then you did readings and I was so in awe of you like I just wanted more of you, I, and it's so amazing to get to know you and see you and like even on this you share, that you get nervous for those totally nervous and to me on my side, I'm like what are you nervous?

Speaker 2:

it's so amazing. And then you can look at me and go like girl yeah, how do you right? So this these mirrors, I think, are such a gift.

Speaker 1:

Yeah right, yeah, they are that we all are like kind of sweaty palm on our way through this, yeah exactly that we're all doing the best that we can, and I think that the reason we want to have this conversation, tara, is because, if we can talk about the fact that we're feeling this, you know on occasion, or maybe a lot, whichever the situation is the fact that we're feeling this.

Speaker 1:

You know on occasion, or maybe a lot, whichever the situation is for you that we need to strive to constantly do better. I mean, I think that there are probably ways where maybe you know on some level that we're hardwired for that to you know to be hardwired for success, or you know to just you know to, maybe you know understand that we got to work hard, or you know, whatever the case may be, I think it has been so distorted in our culture and our society where we have these expectations that are very unhealthy, very abnormal, very abnormal and not supporting us and creating a society of dysfunction on a level where People can be unhappy. They can lash out at others very easily, get very volcanic when really the disturbance is within more so right, and so I see that online We've talked about that lots how people can be so bold behind a keyboard.

Speaker 1:

Dis-ease comes from within, like the feelings that we have of our own self, our own inadequacy and our frustration level in general and then it gets taken out on those around you or in the world around you yeah, that's given me a an example.

Speaker 2:

I've been like we said. I've been, we've been training our puppy. We're getting a little more serious with her training.

Speaker 1:

We need her better on her leash and she's getting there.

Speaker 2:

We're getting there because the humans are learning. So I've been watching Cesar Millan, yes.

Speaker 1:

And so he'll show this where a dog is, I know, and he's so good, so good.

Speaker 2:

So say, we have a dog that's walking and then it's getting agitated. It's getting agitated, it's getting excited, it's getting frustrated, and then it will redirect that anger. It can do it within its pack or to other dogs, but you can see that same, that pent-up energy. Yeah right, that then has us redirecting it like lashing out here, lashing out there yes right in these inappropriate ways. So it's funny to see that we as humans kind of do that same thing so we need this healthy burn of energy where we really like have good outlets.

Speaker 2:

And I think that this is so fitting for this eclipse day, because when I think of this eclipse and we've talked about it, it's like what are we letting go of and what are we rebirthing and stepping into? And I think my invitation here today would be can we let go of the fear, guilt and judgment of ourselves where we are imperfect?

Speaker 2:

and can we lean really into our seeing, our gifts and our beauty and our contributions, and I would invite our listeners. One exercise that I've done is writing daily affirmations, like 10 things every day that you did well or you like and love about yourself. Yeah things about yourself. I like this about myself, I love this about myself. And are you doing this right now, tara, like, is it helping you? I'm not doing it at the moment. This episode might encourage me to do it, but I've done it for a year.

Speaker 1:

I've done it for years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And what it shifted for me is when I was first given this assignment and we've had Lynn Aylward. She was on here December.

Speaker 1:

She gave me this assignment the first time.

Speaker 2:

Okay, the first time I went to write it I was judging what I was writing, even like oh, but is that true about me, or would other people think that's true and like it? It was hard for me to acknowledge myself, and still can be, but I'm getting so much better at it. But the first time I went to do this 10 things I like or love about myself I sat there very blank, and now at least I could list off a list of 100, because I'm getting better at acknowledging myself and seeing the beauty in it, in it, in me. So I would. This is, it's a neat practice.

Speaker 2:

And now it's not as challenging for me, but it would be a nice thing to pull in to just be affirming as well. It's a really nice loving practice, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Interestingly enough an eclipse is a door opener. Interestingly enough, an eclipse is a door opener, and an eclipse has the ability to show you what has been holding you back and showing you your fears. I know this and we've been sitting and chatting all morning and you know yick yack about all the things that we're talking about and how perfection has stymied us and sabotaged us and all this stuff, and I'm like, right, that's what eclipse is about.

Speaker 2:

I just wrote about this yesterday.

Speaker 1:

Well, an eclipse is meant to help you to see some of those things that have maybe been holding you back from being your full self, and the invitation of an eclipse is always to step into your full self, and so I think that there's probably people who could maybe explain this a little bit better than me. People who study astrology perhaps might have different words for it. This is my own interpretation, so I'm not saying that this is right. This is just my understanding. But an eclipse is a circle, of course, and it is the covering of the sun. The shadow is covered so that you can't see it for a period of time, and then it re-emerges, and so what have we been hiding within our own selves that we have not allowed to be seen, and what can now re-emerge within the light? And so that's the invitation, I believe, of an eclipse, one of the many invitations.

Speaker 1:

There's a lot more than that but isn't that really a beautiful way to look at it? And so you know what within each of us has maybe been hidden, or that we've been afraid to let shine. And how could it come out without worry that you're not good enough or that you're doing it wrong, or that you're this or you're that, or somebody else is better at it than you, or you know what have you? If we could put that aside and just step into who we really are?

Speaker 1:

oh, I like that yeah, it'd be so much better.

Speaker 2:

And so.

Speaker 1:

I think the other thing that is important to say is that when you are stepping into your light, I do believe that it does take an amount of courage, I really do. I think that you do have to gather it up and you know channel it and find it within and agree to use it, and I do think that that takes courage, and Spirit would say that that's the hack. So the work is the hack, the choice is the hack. Like the agreeing to come part way, so to speak, is the hack. Like taking human steps is the actual hack.

Speaker 1:

And I think in so many ways, this is where we get stuck. Like even manifesting and I don't believe that all the stuff that has gone around in the world about manifesting has actually been incredibly helpful. I mean, it has to some degree in terms of forming language, perhaps, and maybe setting intentions, but people don't actually step into it. Like that's where people get stuck is like taking the human steps. What are the human steps? What are the things I have to do? What are the ways that I come forward and step into this light? That is, that is the fast way, so to speak.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that was a lot, but anyway. I like it Show up and do the pushups Show up.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's, I think that's part of the agreement, right, that we would show up, that we would, you know, put in the steps and, and you know, do some of that. Yeah, yeah. But I actually think that when it is something that you love in a way that you shine, that it isn't as. I mean, it can be work, but it's not as draining work as maybe things in your life that you're doing that go against your heart or that go against you personally. So when you say yes but you really mean no, I think that's more harmful and harder work than when you say yes and you really mean yes and you really want to do the thing yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that.

Speaker 2:

That's a big topic it is oh well, at least we're all imperfect together oh well, exactly and we can. We can have our courage to pull up this creativity and to let it be out there, and the more we do that, the more we're all going to liberate each other, to show up imperfectly right.

Speaker 1:

That's exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking that the more that we talk about this and the more that we do show up, I think that we do make way for ourselves, our friends, our community, the future generations that will come behind us to do the same, and that's what we want for them. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

There Now everybody can go and imperfectly shine your beautiful light.

Speaker 1:

So what are you going to do today that will be imperfectly perfect, Tara Walk?

Speaker 2:

my dog. We're getting it, though Cesar, we're getting it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's so fun.

Speaker 2:

Working on my calm confidence. Yes, yeah, it is that confidence. Confidence, though, and I love this. Actually, I'm I'm really loving this relationship with my dog in the last few weeks, because, you can see, like any places where fear come up in me, like they just get to be this direct reflection of it, and can I be nervous to go out on walks and what will we encounter and what will we pass, what kind of distractions will she see, what things will she smell? And I can be nervous for the journey and still step into every single journey, every single walk, being nervous and courageous, right like, it's totally like life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I feel like leaving my house for a dog walk is a metaphor for life lately, like, yeah, okay, I'm feeling a little unsure. I'm gonna take a deep breath, calm my body, yeah, and we're gonna go out on this yeah, I'm like three deer passed us the other night and I'm like we're gonna sit, we're gonna let them pass by and we did it with calm yeah confident, but never know what's gonna cross your path yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it. Yeah. What about you? What are you going to imperfectly do today?

Speaker 1:

I would really. I have the desire to go hit some balls Like I want to. I want to go to the. She means golf. Yes, I do mean golf. I should have specified that right from the start. You're safe, john. Yes, yeah, no, I really, and drive some balls and I am not perfect at that, not even remotely am I perfect at that. But man, I keep trying. Good for you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah but I haven't done it all winter and so I haven't been for a very long time. So it's been, I'm going to say, about four to five months since.

Speaker 2:

I've been. Yeah, so I really need to go. Reese has been out there practicing and dusting it all off. We're full, full on golf in our house. Wow, you guys got to go go together and do that. See, that's one. Golf is one thing that I actually. I let my uh perfectionism just block me from doing it. I don't, it's not a sport I care to do, because I don't care to go and swing and miss and it just seems like a silly thing to me. So maybe I will embrace and swing at a ball and miss, right?

Speaker 1:

right. Well, I mean, I, I would encourage you to, but I would also say, like you, don't have to love it like it might not be the like you, you might not be my thing, no, but you might like soccer more, yeah, for example. Like so I'm. I don't mean that you just have to do things for the sake of doing them. I do think that you should follow your heart and if your heart is like yeah, I'd really like to whack some balls.

Speaker 2:

Then I don't have an urge, but reese would love me to go and try with him on his birthday a year and a half ago. It was a beautiful sunny day. The kids were at school and in daycare and for his birthday we went out and did nine holes and I was just his catty girl. So so I'm like I'm just as happy being your catty girl as I am.

Speaker 1:

So we'll see, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Whatever I do today, I can guarantee it'll be imperfect.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, I think that's a very good note to end on, because that is the darn truth, and so be it.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we're going to finish this episode with some words from Marianne Williamson. I invite you to sync up to your breath and receive this. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves who am I to be? Brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others, and so it is.

Speaker 1:

We would love for you to join us on our podcast page on Instagram at walk together fiercely. Here we can chat, have community ask questions and lots of other extra information that you might not get on our podcast. For more information about us, you can find Dr Tara on Instagram at Dr Tara Drummond. For more information about me, michelle, you can find me on Instagram at Michelle Morrison Medium. All other information about me is on my website, thebalancedsoulcom. This podcast is recorded by Michelle and Tara and is edited and arranged by Sammy Lucan.