Walk Together Fiercely

Does Being Spiritual Mean Better Intimacy?

• Michelle Morrison and Dr. Tara Drummond ND • Season 4 • Episode 124

Share episode

We would love to hear from you! Send us a message!

Have you ever wondered what happens when spirituality and sex intertwine?  When you deepen your spiritual connection, you actually have the ability to create an explosion of joy and fulfillment in your sex life!  That's right! This conversation is a  journey that we embark upon, in an episode that's equal parts enlightening, entertaining and inspirational as we bask in the humor of our everyday experiences while peeling back layers of self-acceptance and inner peace, revealing how they can transform not just our sexual encounters but our very approach to love and trust. Together, we celebrate the sacred dance of consensual adult relationships, emphasizing the importance of safety, respect, and our absolute sexual sovereignty.

The art of intimacy isn't just about the moments we share but also about the personal spaces we cultivate for ourselves and our partners. Throughout the conversation, we open up about our own body image journey, illustrating how finding acceptance in the mirror can lead to a more secure and passionate connection in the bedroom. By focusing on sensation over self-critique and emphasizing clear communication, we learn to honor the divinity in our partners and ourselves.  We discuss strategies for maintaining a flirtatious spark and the subtle art of building anticipation for deeper, more meaningful and pleasurable encounters.

But what about the afterglow? We weave through the perspectives of Chinese medicine on orgasms, contrasting their effects on men and women, and lean into the empowering process of prioritizing pleasure and self-care. Women listeners, in particular, will find a wealth of insights and advice on reclaiming their sexual power. And for everyone tuning in, we extend an invitation to join the dialogue on our Instagram community, Walk Together Fiercely, where the conversation continues with gusto. So, snuggle in and prepare for a podcast episode that's as thought-provoking as it is heartwarming and inspirational.  Let's Walk Together Fiercely through Enjoying Great Sex!

We would love for you to join us in our community! Find us on Instagram at: @walktogetherfiercely
Here you can be a part of the conversation! We love when you message us, when you tag us in your posts and stories, thank you so much for sharing!

For more information about Dr. Tara, you can find her on Instagram at: @drtaradrummond

For more information about Michelle, you can find her on her website: www.thebalancedsoul.com
Instagram: @michellemorrisonmedium
Facebook: @Michelle Morrison Psychic Medium

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Walk Together Fiercely. We are just so glad to have you here. We invite and we also thank you for being a part of our community. Thank you for choosing to spend some of your precious time with us. We know how valuable it is. I am Michelle Morrison. I am a medium and an intuitive and I support people to make beautiful spiritual connections with loved ones on the other side, with angels and spirit guides, and I love helping people tune into their own amazing intuition.

Speaker 2:

I am Dr Tara Drummond and I am a naturopathic doctor and I am passionate about empowering people in all aspects of health and well-being. Our intention is to create community and connection. We do that with open hearts, minds and a whole lot of love and laughter. The more we know ourselves, the deeper connection we can have within, which allows us to deepen connections around us.

Speaker 1:

We feel so passionately about this. You matter, that you are so important and that you belong, and we are creating and connecting to the hearts and wisdom of our bodies, mind and spirits, nurturing and growing compassion, empathy and community. We know that we are so much better together, and so let's walk together fiercely through this beautiful, sometimes really challenging life as light warriors of love. Together, with open minds and hearts, we can create a community where we celebrate, play and thrive. Thank you for being here.

Speaker 3:

Good morning.

Speaker 2:

We are back. We have more snow.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yeah, disclaimer, we're recording this. At the beginning of March, we had a massive snowstorm overnight yesterday, still ongoing, and now the wind has begun and it's a real thing, and now we're getting snowdrifts and it's minus 12 Celsius currently, with a wind chill. I don't even know what it is with a wind chill. I don't want to look, it's bloody cold.

Speaker 2:

No, we were ready for spring and I usually come up to your part of town for recording. I'm like don't drive. I took kids to school and it's a sheet of ice. People are fishtailing. That's why it's minus six here and not snowing. We are in two different weather.

Speaker 1:

As we often are. We are in different. Yes, for sure. No, it's a bit chilly today, for sure. So today we are having a really interesting conversation, and this is one we've been mulling over for a little bit, but we really felt passionate that we wanted to speak about this. Yeah, yeah, she says tentatively yes, this is one of those topics.

Speaker 2:

I just think who am I to be speaking on it? But let's go.

Speaker 1:

Oh, who are you? Come on, Come on. Well, I know enough about you that we won't share on here. But, yes, you are more than qualified to speak about this. But today we are going to be speaking about the profound sacredness that comes from an intimate connection and the fact that there is a lot of truth and even research backing up the fact that those who are spiritually connected have better sex.

Speaker 1:

Tell me more, better sex. So that's what we're talking about today and, before we get into this, what we do want to say is just a little bit of an addendum attachment to this, that we are speaking about adult consensual relationships where there's two. Well, I mean, I'm hearing a lot about other things Three or four.

Speaker 1:

Whatever that is, everyone is consenting and that this is more like, maybe, supporting of things that are longer term relationships and for some people, six months is a long term relationship, or you know, in my case, we're going on 33 years of marriage. You're going on, is it 1112 this year? Yeah, so we're talking about relationships that are, you know, committed committed people to one another. So that's just our little addendum, and that this is. The entire conversation is around safety, respect and sexual sovereignty. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So let's get into why it is that people who are spiritually connected might be having better sex and might be having elevated levels of sexual energy or just like just kind of more profound sexual experiences entirely. And so this is great, this is another great reason Now let's want to have great sex.

Speaker 1:

Yeah and yeah, we all want to have great sex and I think that this is just a really nice, it's a really beautiful approach actually, and so, as we break this down, I mean it just it just feels so loving, it just feels so gentle and it just feels so, so beautiful and like this. I mean I would hope that everybody gets to experience connection on this kind of a level at whatever point in their life, because I really think that this is how it was meant to be. That's just my own personal feeling.

Speaker 2:

So fun, michelle. Like it's fun.

Speaker 1:

Yes, For the pleasure of it, right, absolutely, yeah, absolutely. And so people who are spiritually connected I've usually are in process or have been through or are doing the work of being accepting of themselves, right, so just a bit more accepting of themselves and where they're at Like, maybe there's a little bit of a sense of peace about them and I'm not saying it's perfect all the time and that we're, you know, we're constantly like in a great headspace a hundred percent of the time. I don't mean that, but I just mean that, overall, there's a level of peace and acceptance with who you are and that will make for a very much so a better sexual connection. What do you think?

Speaker 2:

I love it. Yeah, the more connected you are to yourself, I think, the more you can relax into your body and experience more pleasure and connection with other people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, that's exactly it. So spiritually connected people tend to have created a safe and supportive environment around themselves. They might be aware of what creates that safety. Oh, I got to just tell you Tara's dog, frankie, who is just so gorgeous I'm we're going to put pictures with this episode so you can see what she's recording with. Frankie is standing right behind Tara looking over her shoulder. She's in on this convo.

Speaker 2:

She's looking she's getting a little frisky. Actually she's like this is exciting. She's starting to nibble my hands and like simmer down, frisky pup. That's so cute. Are we talking about a?

Speaker 3:

punchball, yeah Gosh.

Speaker 1:

Anyway. So creating like a safe and supportive environment for themselves and so spiritually connected people tend to I mean, I mean lots of people do like put energy and effort into their environment. But like I know for you, tara, for example, you work with Sam Plovey and you've created like Feng Shui in your bedroom, like you've created a beautiful supportive environment for you in your room. Is that right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, we have, although the living room can be more of our zone with young kids Sure, there's often a kid in the bed, or, yeah, I like this topic, michelle, because I feel like the more I get feeling safe and comfortable within my own skin, the better sex I have. So you can think back to being a young girl, young woman and the way that we're programmed, I think, to think about sex or what sex should be or should look like, whether we've gotten our material through just some books or we've seen some pornographic stuff or whatever. I and I wonder if this is true for a lot of other women kind of programmed into this way of like it's my job to please him. And then this like almost being outside of myself, like what does this look like? Does it look sexy? Is it this? Is he happy?

Speaker 2:

And as I've matured in my own being, now my body like explodes in orgasm. And I swear this is how we see God and it's totally the purpose of life is to be having these orgasms that just send your whole body into this like absolute magic. And I don't know that if, if I hadn't been doing the personal work that I've done over the years, I don't know that my body would have allowed me to get to this place. So it's really been an internal journey to allow myself to sink into that vulnerability and allow my partner to love me and see me and know me. And it's this deepening within myself that has allowed me to go deeper into these like sexual parts myself. So it's really neat.

Speaker 1:

That's beautiful. I love that. That just bodes so well, because I think that when you have a deeper understanding of yourself, as you're saying, that there is a comfort level that changes or shifts somehow and you're not performing like you, you know, like those like you said, you know when you're younger and you don't know, and you're learning and figuring it all out.

Speaker 1:

I mean, you know, your first time isn't going to be your best time out of the gate, it just isn't. It just it just gets so much better as you get to know your own self and that you can let that authenticity really come through and that you can be authentically yourself. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And there's such a level of letting go, like letting go of what it should look like or how it's, and just actually being like be with your body, be with your tissues, be with the sensation like there is. You need to feel safe to let go in that way, Like I remember being a young woman being like was that orgasm? Did I just have an orgasm? Now it's like right, there's no question Right, there is no question.

Speaker 2:

And I think that what comes with that is being able to work with that energy and build that energy and cultivate that energy, like, yeah, I'm so much connected to my energetic body, yeah, as we build this energy together, and it's almost like the orgasms, like this creation. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, co-creation yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1:

I think that, just in general, for our spiritual growth, like the energy of love is what transcends it, and so this is naturally just going to be such a beautiful part of that. But I think that spiritual growth also allows you, you know, you might have like a deeper interest in yourself, in your partner, create an interest in creating deeper bonds and having deeper connections just in general. And I think that is just so beautiful all in of itself that we want those deeper connections. We really do. I think we crave them and we want to be seen, we want to be understood, we want to be cherished, we want to be valued. Yeah, and I think that in those kinds of partnerships, that's kind of what happens or how it feels.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, spiritually connected people tend to be a little bit more invested in communication. So not only just speaking but listening. So that creates, you know, those deeper bonds and that beautiful balance. I think better communication leads to better sex in general. So being able to say you know, I really love that. I am not so fond of that. I really more of this, please.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, less of that is really really an important part of the success of a time together.

Speaker 2:

And so which you, then you need to know what you want and don't want, and I think that that is something as we mature as women that instead of going, what does he want?

Speaker 1:

Yeah right.

Speaker 2:

It's do I want? And I think so many people have that have a problem with what do we want, Like we don't even know sometimes.

Speaker 2:

So I think the more we're going inward and having that journey of like self discovery- yeah, right, and that's spiritual to me, because when you say spiritual people have better sex, I think what is spiritual and spiritual is like returning to that love, returning to that love, returning to that love All over and over, and that's love for ourselves, love for our partner. So these people are choosing to reconnect with their partner, to have those hard conversations, to share their heart, to explore the vulnerabilities, and there's so much juiciness in that.

Speaker 1:

Entirely so. One of the things that I really love to acknowledge that I know is is true for both of us, Tara is that when people who are spiritually connected tend to have a variety of interests of their own, they do like they are interested in different things in life. They've got a lot like things that they like to do and they're okay doing that on their own. So there's not like a like more of a, you know, kind of like a codependency, like in a toxic kind of a way, like it's really healthy, and so you do things on your own and then when you come together, you really appreciate and love your time together, but that you're also okay independently, that you can do things on your own.

Speaker 1:

And I really you know I can speak to John and I and we certainly each have our own interests. You know lots of times we come together and do those things together, but we also have things that we absolutely love to do on our own, and he might not necessarily enjoy some of the things that I do, not that he would dislike them, but just that he would choose something else which is okay and same for me. How about you and Reese? Are you guys the same?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think, allowing like for having him go out and do his things, let him light up and shine and have more joy, so it really brings us closer together. Like, yeah, if we're not getting time, if I'm not getting time to go out and hang out with some girlfriends or go play soccer or my things, then I feel more stressed out, more tight, more resentful even, because maybe I'm spending too much time in the home taking care of everybody and then you're not feeling sexy, like I think it's so important to go out and do our own things so that our our hearts feel full and our buckets feel full, and it's hot seeing him light up, doing things that make him happy.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Like. It's very attractive to see him going and shining in the ways that he likes to.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

So I think it just it very good self care so that we each can come back to the home feeling like we're ready to invest our energy here because we've gone out and yeah, enjoyed other aspects of ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love one, john Tex, and he's like, okay, I'm on my home from the airport and I know that I've got like 25, 30 minutes and I'll finish up something I'm doing, and no, okay, yeah, we're, we're going to spend this time together. We have this evening together. We're going on a date or we're just hanging out, we're just going to watch a movie, like whatever. I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2:

Knowing of those, yeah, and he comes home so happy because he's just been flying high over the city.

Speaker 1:

Yes, Exactly, yeah, exactly. We've each been doing our own things and it's like, yes, I really want to spend some time with you and that feels really good, yeah, yeah. So I love that. And spiritually minded people tend to have, like even for themselves, like you know, a sanctuary of love and trust where they might be aware a little bit of their boundaries, might be aware a little bit more of you know, the types of people that make them feel good and the types that don't, and so they really have created, in those ways, that sanctuary of love and trust. So it allows the each partner to just enjoy rather than worry about a bunch of stuff as well.

Speaker 2:

And respectful.

Speaker 1:

I think that having you know that is just a really nice energy in your home in general, like that you know that, you know the energy of just feeling, you know safe in your, in your space and surrounded by your favorite things and the things that make you happy. I think kind of create that. But I also think and I'd love to hear you speak on this terror that especially because you're in the thick of it, like I'm kind of through that part of it, but when you're stressed, not feeling so sexy, right, like not feeling so hot for it, in those moments that you know, when you know when worry can be taken aside, that it's much easier to relax and enjoy yourself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah totally you are running around and you're exhausted from parenting. I mean there's not a lot of hotness in that, necessarily, is there?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, kids can really cool off that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that there's such a nice feeling to having that safe home and having that respect between like myself and my partner that some days it's a hell yeah and some days it's a hell no like yeah and it does.

Speaker 2:

Stress really does have an impact on our nervous system which is going to affect our turn on. Like if we are fighting with our partner, if we're worried about money, if we've got children demanding all this stuff, whatever we're, we're getting stressed, we're feeling a little overwhelmed. The nervous system is going to go into that fight or flight yeah, and we and we are in fight or flight.

Speaker 2:

That's not safe to be. Sexy time, right, right. So our nervous system really needs to come into that parasympathetic mode. This is where we can get erections and we can get arousal and we can hit our turn on because our system knows that we're safe.

Speaker 2:

So really, from a nervous level perspective, if we're in that fear all that time, that fear and that fight or flight and we got to get all this stuff done, that is not where orgasm lives right right orgasm lives when we are safe and we can relax and we can receive and yeah, so it really has a lot to do with that to create this container where it's safe to relax and experience pleasure.

Speaker 1:

I love that and so creating that, that environment, is really important and it really does matter because it will allow you to lose some of your inhibitions and and relax into things and enjoy yourself a little bit more. Yeah, yeah, let's talk about ways that you can transcend your sex life. Even if it's a great sex life right now, like there's always ways that we can transcend and, you know, just reach for another level of of fun and pleasure, right, releasing your expectations and instead just allowing yourself to be a bit curious, maybe a little bit more free and open and just having fun. So what I, you know, again, like, there's things that we mean here and things that we don't, right. So, you know, we again, we are talking about, you know, a very safe and consensual space.

Speaker 1:

But I think that one of the things that I have learned is that, you know, over the course of my life, in my 50 plus years, my body has really changed a lot. Through the course of time, I have been, you know, completely skinny mini to, you know now, just kind of, you know, slightly on the plumper side and voluptuous might be for sure, and there have been, you know, insecurities that I have felt, in that, you know I've been pregnant. I you know I've got stretch marks. You know my body has just changed over the years and what I have learned and what is so beautiful in my own partnership that John has taught me is just not what he's thinking about. Like it's just not what he's worried about. Or what he's concerned about like he's not.

Speaker 1:

He's not counting the stretch marks. For example, he's not looking at all of the crow's eyes you know the crow's feet around my eyes like he's. It's just it's not like it. If my hair is messy or perfectly done, like it's just not what he's thinking about or worried about and I'm betting for most people it's likely the same. And so the more time you waste on that insecurity is just denying yourself the pleasure that is possible and that if you can let that go and you can release your expectations of yourself like in terms of you saying you know, when you're younger, how did I look like? Did it look right? Did it look good? Like was I? Was I looking sexy?

Speaker 2:

you know, if you can release those expectations and instead just move into the enjoyment of it, I think that that is actually far sexier and much more fulfilling yeah, I love that point, michelle, and I think that's really going to resonate with a lot of people, because, too, if we are in our mind and feeling insecure or judging our body, we are not in our body we are not in it, experiencing it.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to bring this back to us because we joke, we joke that you say the whole body is a clitoris and I just freaking love that analogy. And this comes from, this comes from you saying when you get messages from spirit, they say they love that, being human, you can feel sensation, you can feel the wind on your face, the cold water on your feet.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you can feel the kiss of your lover, you can feel all these things, and spirit doesn't have that sensation of this physical body, right? So if we approach intimacy, that our entire body is a clitoris and it is this pleasure receptor, you can turn your attention inside you and be a receiver for all the sensation and play that you can bring in, whereas if we're in our head and our mind judging, worrying and criticizing our body, we are not embodied like we're not in ourselves and I think that that's why disconnect from having really great orgasm and just being kind of locked in our head, self-conscious and not fully letting our self go to experience all the possibilities that we could be feeling, exactly.

Speaker 1:

That's really well put and I think that that is such a major point that we are here to experience pleasure, and whether that is pleasure with you, know something, you're cooking in your kitchen or swimming in a lake, or putting your feet in the ocean or having a sexual connection, we are meant to experience pleasure, like that is what our bodies were created for, whatever you think, and not all the time do we experience pleasure. I get that. I mean, you can stub your toe and you know, cry out in pain and you know, or have a health challenge, but but really that is our, that is one of our biggest purposes is is to come to experience that pleasure. So may as well get on board with it.

Speaker 2:

May as well, I think that it's.

Speaker 1:

Another way to transcend your sex life is that it is okay to like certain things and perhaps you don't like others, and I think that what is really lovely is being able to communicate your needs, your likes and your dislikes and being able to say, yeah, so that maybe didn't do it for me, but this sure did. We could do more of that, like I always you know, remember the friends episode start with a one, two, three and then a seven, seven, seven, seven, seven seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven seven seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, like we're actually there're, that's there's, that we're not seeing that at all in our sex life.

Speaker 2:

We're not getting fuel here for us so that's not good.

Speaker 1:

No, we don't want that because it's. Reyyanne is good for you and that it's also important for you to listen to your partner say what is good for them and that you can find common ground and you can maybe find. Maybe it is going to be a little bit of compromise at times, maybe it's gonna be a hard, solid boundary of no, all of it's fine, but communicate what is true for you and be open to listening to your partner. Communicate what there's is as well mm-hmm yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I'm seeing the divinity in your partner.

Speaker 1:

I really, really love this and I I know you have expressed it at times so beautifully as well like feeling that tenderness and feeling that fragility of the beautiful connection that you have and you know really wanting, you know really feeling like the sense of sacredness in that.

Speaker 1:

I know you've put words to it before, so I know you're on board with this. I think that you know each of us are such an expression of a higher power and we are taking this earth journey and this physical journey and that you know it's, like you said before, like lean into it and don't take it for granted like it is. It is like when two bodies come together, like you're, it's so much more than just a physical connection. Whatever you may think of it and whatever you may, you know, be, you know whatever meaning you may be putting to it at the time, I think there's so much more that happens and that you know two auras come so closely together, two energetic fields come so closely together. There's a lot of intertwining that happens and I don't think you can deny it, and so when you treat yourself with sacredness, when you treat yourself with respect and self-worth that you can do the same for your partner and again, that just really, really deepens the connection yeah, that's my little two sense.

Speaker 1:

This reminds me of the privilege and honor it is to love another person yes right this is what am I take only from last weekend they get when we did our workshop together with the word privilege, like what a privilege it is and what an honor it is to be able to be that intimate with another being mm-hmm that only I get to love you like this, yes, like, what a special, sacred thing.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, entirely. I love that. And so I also think, like, put into action what creates that sacredness for you, like whatever that is for you. So you know, do you, do you like to put a little bit more into your, into your environment, or does it matter at all, or is it just better spontaneous and whatever? So if you like candles, if you like music, if you like a certain type of sheets, if you like to take a bath or a shower, like whatever you need for your success, you should be doing that, like whatever creates it for you. Like don't question it, don't think, oh, that's silly, or it's not worth the time, or who cares Like it does matter, care Like it really does matter, put the time in.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think of just this realm is such a fun place to play Like. Why not play full out, right? If you know what you want and you know what your body says yes to like, create that, give it to yourself Like what a what an act of love.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, entirely, it is. Yeah, I love like part of this. What I'll just say is part of setting yourself up for success for this is, you know, maybe doing things that you can do to kind of let go of your worries or your fears for that time and space, and I don't know that we let go of them. You know, it's not like I could sit here and say, listen, I'm never going to worry again. That is not true. I will absolutely worry again. I'm human and so worry will come up from time to time. I will deal with that when it does. But if there are things that you can do to release it, maybe it's to speak it, maybe it's to communicate it and just say you know, this was really hard for me today or I'm really stressed about this or this. You know, I got this news today and it was really stressful, like being able to communicate again. Communicate it and speak it and get it off your chest a little bit is really helpful prior to a successful connection.

Speaker 2:

Oh and it and it almost opens a door to connection, Like if I can let go of heavy things that I'm holding or thinking of or worrying of and I can be loved and supported by my partner, it really opens the door to intimacy for me. Like I can we're in this together, that I have you, that you're supporting me, that I can lean into that like masculinity yes, absolutely. And then that's yeah, that's a, that's a door opening right there.

Speaker 1:

I agree, I think so too. Yeah, I loved you guys ever do this. I love doing this with John when we lay side by side, like facing each other, so each of us laying on a side, but facing each other, and just like complete and total eye contact, like real connection through eyes and you know, maybe we're chit chatting, maybe we're just laying there quietly, maybe we're just. You know, we could be talking about, you know, something that is like a responsibility, or we could be talking about something that is intimate. Either way, really love that kind of connection.

Speaker 2:

Do you guys ever do?

Speaker 2:

this yeah, and just see each other. Yeah, and I find we pause in the day like we do aim to connect a few times a day just with a hug and an eye contact, and it'll often be before he goes to work or when he comes home, and it's not always even in the foreplay time or in the sex time. It's like that connection through the day that I got you, you got me, even if we're really busy and we're just crossing paths before we do other kid activities and stuff, it is that connection that grounds us to each other throughout the day, that we're a team, we're in this and that feels really supportive to me.

Speaker 1:

I love that. Yeah, I think that's really important to take time to see each other and you know you're absolutely right, you know it doesn't always have to be connected to sex but, you know, having, you know like it can be considered an intimate connection when you take that moment for that hug and a kiss and spend, you know, a few extra seconds there and or, you know, acknowledge each other or see each other in some way, shape or form. I think that really sets yourself up for success. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

In a lot of different ways.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's really good. I think that you know, one of the things this is just maybe maybe this is because I personally love this, but but I love, like you know, having like, I guess, maybe a sense of flirtatiousness, energy or like provocative energy. That is just maybe an undertone through your day on some level, like you're allowing the energy to just kind of build a little bit. Yeah, and kind of percolate, letting things percolate just a little bit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, and and so you know, one of the things that I think can be really amazing is, if you are engaging in foreplay in any kind of way to you might avoid some of the main erogenous zones initially and just continually just allowing that energy to kind of build. And so it might be with things that are vocal, it might be with just touch in a certain way, or hugs, you know that kind of thing, but like letting it kind of build a little bit can, can create.

Speaker 2:

That's my favorite. This will be, this will be this, maybe too much information, but that I actually will hold off to create that tension almost. Yes, like if Reese kind of midday, or in a time where like oh my gosh, I know in Chinese medicine the five to seven PM time is like kidney time and it's the best time for having sex. It is not mine.

Speaker 2:

No, that is the busiest time of day with the kids and the family and stuff. So if Reese ever is like hey, like want to sneak away to the laundry room real quick, call the kids, rush to me. I'm like okay, no, I will let. If I know that he's game, I will almost like get pleasure in having him wait until the kids are in bed.

Speaker 2:

And in that time there's so many glances exchanged, or a little pat on the butt or a little the looks that we exchange in that time where he's going. I'm wanting to get you and I'm going, I'm going to make you wait. There's a little four play, push, pull there right, and you let that energy build, build, build.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right. And then it's always the worst if it's like a horrible bedtime and everyone's exhausted after. We're like, ah, tag, you're it, we'll get you tomorrow. So we've got this 24 hour rule, like so if one of us says no to the other one, like we're just too tired, too exhausted, been a day, we go, you got 24 hours, and then the other person has to come back to you and make a move so that we're not feeling hurt, feeling shut down, rejected in that way like 24 hour each other, and then that just gives another 24 hours to build that energy because it's like, oh, you owe me it, so it's, it's fun. Michelle.

Speaker 2:

Like I feel like a sex life is, like there's such a funness, a lightness to it. It is, it's really meant to for play. I think it's like adult, it's adult play right.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, Absolutely. I love that, Tara I. When I told John you're 24 hour rule, he's like that can be a thing and I'm like, please, like we may not have had that name to it, but come on, you darn well, I already have that.

Speaker 2:

I'll drop my kids off, yeah, and he can have them for a week and see if he can be like Michelle. I forgot how much work little kids are.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and so, like you know, there's just an invitation here to just, you know, be more, you know, have a willingness within you and you know to surrender to your own pleasure a little bit and to surrender to the pleasure of it. And I think that the other thing that I'll just say is that, you know, includes solo session as well, particularly for women, because, like it's so important, like I mean, I think it's so different in terms of boys and girls and in their bodies, no matter which way your interest lies, I think that I'm not going to say it's easier for boys because I don't have that experience, like I'm not, I don't have male parts, I don't know what it's like to have that I can only speak to my own experience but, like I think, for women, it takes sometimes maybe a little bit longer or a little bit more maturity to understand and connect with your body in a deeper way and to be able to indulge in pleasure in a way that is really impactful and meaningful and, you know, fulfilling and beautiful and all of those things.

Speaker 1:

And so I think that you know it does take I'm going to just say it does take a little bit of experience. Is that fair to say? What do you think, tara?

Speaker 2:

Practice, yeah, yeah, but it's also. It's practice in letting go and relaxing, and I think that that's what is a barrier for so many women is like receiving that pleasure. Because we are so often giving and nurturing and thinking of what other people want that we do lose ourselves when we're young women.

Speaker 2:

And I think that reconnecting to ourselves and knowing what we want and knowing what feels good. So I love that self-practice. And I'm going to bring in the Chinese medicine aspect here, because each time a man ejaculates he loses some essence. So we actually, and we only have so much essence. And if so, if a man is ejaculating every single day, all the time, he's actually like going to be aging faster, get out. But for women this is not true. We can come all day long and we do not age faster. So I think, if anything, it's probably a bit more of an anti-aging thing because we just get flooded with so much like happiness and stuff. So there is actually like, when you look at the Chinese medicine perspective, it it matters orgasms, men and women. So even like, if people are attempting to get pregnant, like a man needs 48 hours to rebuild his sperm. So if you're trying to get pregnant and he's ejaculating every single day, you're actually not getting the full Potential.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Full load the full amount of sperm, count Right that you would be getting if you gave them 48 hours to recuperate. Lucky ladies, though, we are not built this way. We can have orgasm on orgasm, on orgasm, and it does not take away from us. So I think that self-care, that self-practice is. It just opens your body up, and the more you are open to that realm, I think, the easier it is to access it.

Speaker 1:

I love that. That's really cool. I had no idea, I didn't know that. Oh those poor guys, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

I think, though, that you know, in so many ways we've inherited, you know, shame and guilt or a sense of taboo about sex on some level, and I think that it is worth working through whatever those thoughts and feelings are for you, so that you are reclaiming your sexual sovereignty and bringing the mind and body to a more vibrant state of well-being because of it. I think that it is in part and parcel of that, and so I, you know, we don't know what you have all walked and what you have been through, and you know there are people on the planet who have been through tremendous trauma, and we don't mean to glaze over that whatsoever, but the point is, I suppose, that if there are things that you feel shame or guilt or a sense of taboo about in your own body and your own pleasure, that it is worth working through to come to a place where you that was never true and you certainly don't deserve those feelings that you are absolutely worthy of love and pleasure and you know all the good things, essentially, is what I guess.

Speaker 2:

I'm trying to say yeah, yes, I think that's the first right that you were born into, this body that can receive. Like the job of the clitoris is just for pleasure, like it doesn't serve an anatomical thing other than that it has the most nerve endings in the body, like we were gifted, like pleasure, like go and have fun, enjoy this life, and there can be so much trauma that can block us from that connection and it's so worth the effort. And like there's so much shame and guilt even, like a lot of women feel it just for bleeding, like they think, oh, I'm dirty or I'm on my period and we have these negative thoughts around that or all of this stuff. And if we can work through and undo that programming, I think there's so much potential for pleasure and creation. And I would like to mention the books.

Speaker 2:

Mama Gina wrote Pussy and that is a really empowering book talking about the power held in this center of our body like this, this womb center, and how, the potential for power and pleasure there. And then Lisa Lister wrote the book Witch, and then she's also written Code Red, and so she's so much about women's health and empowerment and I think that those are some good starting places If women are listening and going like, ooh, I do have a lot of shame there. Ooh, like I feel triggered by some of these words and how, maybe easy breezy we're talking about this because it's not easy breezy for everyone.

Speaker 2:

And I definitely have had years of sex with no orgasm going like, am I broken, like? But the thing is I was not looking for it within me, I was looking outside of me and putting his pleasure over my pleasure. And now that I'm now that I'm here for me like we both win and it's oh right, oh my gosh, and it's.

Speaker 1:

You're absolutely right, and you know we're kind of touched on that a little bit that you know, for women in particular, like it just gets better. I will just say it just gets better as you get older, like it really just does. It's my personal experience maybe it isn't everybody's, but it is certainly mine and it just gets better and better and better, and the more that I surrender into myself and just allow myself to be and just let go of expectations and ambitions and I completely just surrender into being loved and stimulated, I guess in those kinds of ways Like it's fantastic, it's so much better than I ever could have imagined. And I think that when you're younger you are on a certain level, maybe performing or you know self-conscious?

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And you know it is, can. It can be very focused on the other person's, on your partner's experience, more so than yours. Am I, you know? Am I doing it right? Am I? Are they getting what they need? Did I, you know? Did I? Did I do that well enough, or whatever? And feeling your success come in their pleasure rather than your own. And yeah, that's what the purpose of this talk was is fuck that. This is, this is like, about a win-win, win-win, win-win. This is not about just one person having a good time. This is about a partnership and both partners having a fantastic time. And so, and and just how worth you are of that, in receiving it, asking for it, say you know, communicating your needs around it and indulging in it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah that you're worthy of the pleasure, and I just keep seeing Oprah like you get an orgasm, you get an orgasm, you get an orgasm Like there's no shortage of orgasms. We can all be orgasming. I love that you brought in self-pleasure into this because for people that are listening, maybe they aren't in a great relationship, maybe they're single or maybe they are wearing a lot of resentment to their partner and they're not too sure how do I do this with my partner?

Speaker 2:

Like start it by yourself. Yeah, like you can circulate this energy in your body, you can build this center, and I think that then that will translate into relationship when we're ready to do that 100%, I agree.

Speaker 1:

I agree. Can you just speak to really quickly, Tara, and I'm totally putting you on the spot here. But what happens when we have an orgasm? So some chemicals are released in our body that create like that, like it hits the pleasure centers. I get that, but it also releases, like for us, serotonin. Am I right? Am I on the right?

Speaker 2:

track yeah, and like oxytocin.

Speaker 1:

Like that love hormone, oxytocin Right.

Speaker 2:

Really it's flooded with the feel goods yeah. Flooded with the feel goods and with the perspective I'm just telling you, it starts from my toes getting crunched up and then when I tell them to relax, then we're I'm not too sure of what's going on, because it feels like it doesn't make sense scientifically, because it's such a whole body, gorgeous, turning inside out, kind of feeling.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, but essentially like those kinds of hormones released are really good for you. In general, yes, yeah, yeah. There's a lot to it. I think that it's really lovely to indulge in self care after sex and that you need to like, nourish and hydrate, and you know, um, you know, take care of yourself and take care of your partner.

Speaker 1:

Uh and just have that, yes, that too, uh, but but just to have that time of intimate connection and that this can be a lovely time where people, both partners are open and communication can be really, really lovely here, and that you tend to be coming from a really loving place, and so that's just really important to acknowledge as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1:

Oh, it's one of my fave, like you know, lane, uh, lane, you know, cuddled up together after oh my gosh, like what is better than that?

Speaker 2:

Asking in that afterglow. Yes.

Speaker 1:

Skin to skin. Yeah, it's good. So it is our hope, um that you have better sex, that you have uh deeply connected and uh intimate connections, and that you are getting pleasure in the ways that you need. What do you think, tara?

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, so much pleasure. She's so excited being here. Thank you for listening. Seven seven, seven, Seven seven seven.

Speaker 1:

If you have not seen that Friends episode I think it actually is in season seven I'm not actually sure we might tag it, uh, because it is worth a watch at any rate. Yes, well, thanks for being with us today and, uh, we're wishing you great sex.

Speaker 2:

Happy humping.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for being with us today.

Speaker 3:

There are so many ways that sex has been and is still distorted in our society.

Speaker 1:

Bring it back to yourself. Bring it to a place of love and high vibration. Integrate sex as a holistic and beautiful experience as opposed to anything else, and surrender into your authenticity and especially your pleasure. As you let go of your inhibitions, your worries or your doubts about yourself and just show up authentically, not only will you enjoy yourself more, but you'll just have better sex and a better connection with your partner. The love can just get deeper and deeper and deeper, and so that is our wish for you.

Speaker 1:

Now let's take a moment for a breath of peace.

Speaker 3:

Stick a nice deep cleansing breath, pulling air way down deep into your belly and then releasing that breath long and slow, pushing just a little bit of extra air out at the bottom of that breath. Just creating expansion and coming into your own beautiful rhythm of breathing. And then within your body are beautiful energetic centers, your chakras. And the second chakra in your body is above your sit bones and it goes up to the bottom of your belly button. It's called your sacral chakra.

Speaker 1:

Take your attention to this part of your body now.

Speaker 3:

And I want to invite you to allow energy to begin to build here and you might see it as a beautiful swirling or stirring of energy and into this energetic build, I want for you to repeat in your mind these words I am loved, I am lovable, I am worthy and I matter.

Speaker 3:

I am powerful, I am safe, I am beautiful, I am cherished. I am an extension of my source energy and, as an extension of my source energy, I am worthy of all good things. Breathe into that energy. Know that you can trust yourself, that you can communicate your needs and wants and desires and that it is okay to feel, however it is, that you feel, and that you are a sacred vessel Worthy of the deepest love and the most beautiful intimate connections. As this energy builds, let it spread through your entire being and let it be the magnetic energy that surrounds you and ripples from you, standing beautiful and strong in your truth, knowing your value and your incredible worth, and that it comes from your source energy and not from any other person around you. Stand in the light of your source and know that you are loved. Until next time, only love and light to you and only love and light from you.

Speaker 1:

We would love for you to join us on our podcast page on Instagram at Walk Together Fiercely. Here we can chat, have community ask questions and lots of other extra information that you might not get on our podcast. For more information about us, you can find Dr Tara on Instagram at Dr Tara Drummond. For more information about me, michelle, you can find me on Instagram at Michelle Morrison Medium. All other information about me is on my website, thebalancedsoulcom. This podcast is recorded by Michelle and Tara and is edited and arranged by Sammy Lucan.